


Your Soldier with the Blue Eyes and Brown Hair

by lesbianofhearts



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s, Angst, Angst and Romance, F/M, Female Reader, Hurt No Comfort, Presumed character death, Reader-Insert, Romance, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28044822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianofhearts/pseuds/lesbianofhearts
Summary: One day it will stop hurting. One day you’ll be able to think of James Buchanan Barnes and not feel pain. However that day is not today.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Kudos: 9





	Your Soldier with the Blue Eyes and Brown Hair

**Author's Note:**

> This was written at 2am so apologies if this isn’t the best. I tried to use 40’s slang, I put the meanings at the end, so hopefully I used them somewhat correctly. It’s only two words so not a big deal but

The year was 1945. The war was over, soldiers came home to their wives and families and celebrations were thrown. Partners out dancing, friends going out to eat, couples simply just laying in bed and enjoying a small comfort they hadn’t been able to enjoy for so long.   
  


And then there was another group of people. A group of women, friends, family members, children, wives. People who were faced with the realization that their soldiers weren’t coming home. That the engagement ring on their finger would forever remain an engagement ring and not a wedding ring. That when children would make cards for Father’s Day, certain children would instead craft art for their mothers instead. Families who would remain a member short, the extra Christmas stocking left in the attic, the empty seat the dining table, the bedroom door that remained shut and never opened. The friends who would have to accept that they’d never be able to go out dancing with a couple of dames they’d asked out earlier or go out drinking after a day of work.   
  


You were one of these people. You were the girlfriend that wouldn’t get the family her boyfriend promised before he left. No wedding ring, no perfect family house, no big front lawn and a small backyard where future children would play in. No family pet to look after and take care of, no family recipes to practice making. 

  
You would instead remain in your childhood home with your parents, no diamond on your ring finger, no plans to go look at wedding dresses, no shopping for maternity wear, no teasing late at night when you’d put your rollers into your hair for that perfect curl.   
  
Instead you’d fall asleep and wake up in the same bed you’ve had since you were a little girl with a box underneath your bed filled with letters from your solider with the blue eyes and brown hair. Filled with perfect black and white photos of his smile that always seemed to make your day. Small little gifts he’d give you for Valentine’s Day and your birthday. 

No future Mrs. Barnes. Instead your last name would remain the same as it had for the last 28 years of your life.   
  


Instead of hearing his name and instantly feeling joy, you would instead be filled with the feeling of sadness. Of grief and pain and sorrow. The stabbing pain of heartbreak, each one of your heartstrings snapping one by one.   
  


That night when you laid down in the same bed you’ve had since you were a little girl, with the soft pajamas you dreamed of wearing in front of your charming, handsome solider, and the rollers in your hair that you know he would tease you for, and the lightness on your ring finger signifying the lack of weight, you dreamed he was here.   
  


That you were one of those girls dancing and laughing until the sun came up. That you were one of those girls that was planning on shopping for wedding dresses and deciding which music would play for your first dance as husband and wife, looking at houses and paint colors and floor plans. You dreamed that your first name was paired with his last, a tiny life growing inside of you, along with the nice, cool weight of a ring settled on your finger.   
  


—

_“Every single time I take you out for a date I always wonder how I ended up so lucky.” He laughed softly and stared at you with soft eyes.  
_

_“I always ask myself the same thing seeing as how doll dizzy you were, I assumed you’d kick me to curb as soon as we finished our first date.”_

_He laughed again, that one piece of hair he always complained about falling into his face. He stood up from the booth you two had been sitting at, stretched, and reached his hand out for you to grab.  
_

_“The only doll I’m crazy about is you.” He pulled your hand to his lips. You rolled your eyes as your soft skin met his lips. The ones you’ve kissed many times before.  
  
_

_He smiled at you and pressed those same lips to your forehead, nose, cheek, and then had them meet your own before pulling you out the door, your hands intertwined the entire time.  
_

_—_

Perhaps one day when you’re old and gray, and you’ve managed to move on along with time, you’ll be able to think about your past love without the burning ache in your chest. The painful squeezing of your lungs.   
  


However, until then, you’d simply dream. Dream about the day you would’ve taken his last name, dream about the day you’d give birth to your first child who would be the perfect mix of the both of you.   
  


You would read his letters and pretend that his stories of coming home and marrying you hadn’t been stories at all. 

One day you’ll be able to let go of your solider with the blue eyes and brown hair.

**Author's Note:**

> Doll dizzy - girl crazy, crazy about girls  
> Dame - A woman


End file.
